


The Secret Life of Danny Williams

by Dreamwind



Series: The Secret Life of Danny Williams [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Episode: s3e6 I Ka Wa Mamua, F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre Season 1, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 01 Spoilers, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Slash, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-27
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 03:16:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/414112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamwind/pseuds/Dreamwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows who Danny Williams is. He's McGarrett's partner, a Detective of Five-0, a Jersey boy and a haole. That's all he is. Right? Wrong. What no one knows is that he is also a famous writer.</p><p>[Rewrite started July 25, 2016]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now being beta'd by tkeylasunset

Danny Williams hadn’t always wanted to be a cop. Sure there was the childhood fantasy of being of cop, chasing down bad guys and saving the day. But the dream had faded away with adolescence, placed on a back burner in his mind along with zoo keeper, professional baseball player, and football star. He had dreamed about being each of those at one time or another, had even tried for a while to become a baseball and football star. He had been good at baseball, fast and nimble enough to chase down the ball and with good enough accuracy to send the ball anywhere on the field. Football he had been great at. He was small enough to squeeze between larger players, strong enough to bowl them over, and fast enough to outrun them. His grip had been sure and it was a rare thing that he wasn’t able to catch a pass. For almost three years he had thought he would be a professional football player. He had earned a football scholarship to several colleges and if it hadn’t been for one bad play in the final game of the season, the game that made them state champs, he would have achieved that dream.   
  
Instead he had gone to college and gotten a degree in criminal justice.  
  
It hadn’t been his most recent dream of the future but once he started in at the police academy, he had felt as if he had finally reached the place he was supposed to be. He breezed through the academy and his first beat. He had seen things that inspired him and that horrified him. It was the later that brought about one greater change to his future. It had been his first case as a Detective and he had been sure he had seen the worst that humanity had to offer, but as he had quickly realized what he had seen so far was merely the tip of the iceberg. For weeks after he had been unable to sleep, woken by nightmares and fears out of the deep dark corners of his mind. Eventually his partner at the time, Alberto Gutierrez, had pulled him aside and talked to him. As a veterans of the force he had tried to get Danny to find a way that was comfortable to him, to talk about what he saw so that he could lay those fears aside. Danny hadn’t liked the thought of talking to a stranger and he didn’t want to lay this burden on his father or younger brother’s shoulders. So for a while he did nothing, lost as to what course to take until one day he came to the office and saw a leather journal sitting on his desk. Glancing at his partner, who was calmly drinking his morning cup of coffee, Danny had asked about the journal only to be told that if he couldn’t trust someone else with his problems then he should just write them down and get them out of his head.  
  
It was 1998 then, and Danny had been a defective for a year already. As embarrassing as keeping a journal was, he would rather do that than speak to the department psychiatrist.  
  
Even though he made the decision to use the journal he didn't start writing right away. He paced and pondered, unsure how to start. Eventually he had taken that advice and started to write down what he had seen and heard that day, what plagued his dreams and the fears that came from it. Still he was nervous about someone finding the journal. So, thinking himself rather devious, he had bought a second journal and started to write everything down in the format of a series of short stories based in a fantasy world. After a time he had felt almost possessed by the characters and the world he had created, feeling compelled to write longer and longer stories for them.  
  
And then a just over a year later, his world had changed again. His sister Katie had found one of his story journals.   
  
He had come back to his apartment to find her sitting in his favorite recliner, blond hair pulled up into a ragged looking bun, glasses slid down her nose, a half eaten sandwich on the table beside her. But she appeared not to care about any of it as ehe sat reading through the journal. He had panicked and tried to grab the book from her hands only to have her pull it back and away from him. He had chased her about his small sitting room for nearly ten minutes before simply giving up and collapsing onto his couch, giving her his best glare, which she brushed off from years of practice. After he had calmed down she had set a cold beer down in front of him, took the seat across from him and started to talk. She told him all about how she had stumbled upon the journals by accident one day when she had come by to drop off some leftovers from their mother. How her curiosity got the better of her and she had flipped through the journal, reading random pages until she realized it was a story and not a diary. She explained how she had sat down and started really reading it, getting hooked almost immediately to the flow of words and the depth of his characters. She blushed but told him how she would sneak into his apartment when she knew he was on duty, to look for any new journals.  
  
Danny had been surprised by how much she had loved his stories. He had never thought them to be all that good, but his sister who was on her first job as an editor, had told him how incorrect he was. That the series he had created was by far one of the best fantasy series, even mystery series, she had seen in years. After nearly a month of coming home to find her in his apartment reading the journals and arguing with him about how good they were, she finally convinced him to let her bring them to her office to see if they could be published. Danny had only given in because he was sure they never would.  
  
Oh how wrong he was.  
  
Katie had come back to his home with a bottle of wine and a case filled with her small bowls of white chocolate crème brulee, and told him that her boss had loved the stories and that they would be published. Danny had balked at that, trying to back out only to have his sister tell him everything had already been taken care of. She had set it up so that everything would be published under a pseudonym. No one would ever know that W.J. Daniels was really Detective Danny Williams of Hoboken New Jersey. And so the first collection of short stories in Danny’s New Jersey Paranormal Crimes Division series was published. Like his sister, a lot of people read the books, giving them good reviews and writing to the publisher asking for more, for longer books. And so each year his sister would bring one of the older journals in to her office to be published and he would be flooded with fan letters and gifts.  
  
Danny was always surprised by the number of letters he received and by the words written inside. But it wasn’t until February 2000 when he met and married Rachel that the series really went big time. The introduction of a love interest for the main character’s partner, Will, seemed to spark something in his fans. Many of them loved the new added dimension to the series while others bemoaned the loss of the unresolved sexual tension between the older detective and his young partner. The number of fans who had thought that Danny was leading to the two cops falling into bed together surprised him and for almost a week after he found himself blushing every time he looked at his partner, the man who had inspired the main character. His sister had laughed at his naiveté and had introduced him to the world of fanfiction, which had caused many more embarrassing blushes and inappropriate erections. Eventually Danny’s partner had figured out the truth. Apparently he had been a fan of the series and had noticed some similarities between the books and the cases they worked. His partner, Alberto had been amused by the whole thing and had shrugged off any weirdness caused by the revelation that fans were “shipping” the two of them in something called Robertill.  
  
Danny had never been more grateful to have Alberto for a partner.  
  
Danny’s relationship with Rachel had continued to grow after the car accident that had brought them together and Danny had never been happier. His life felt like a whirlwind of pleasure, long nights of writing, fantasizing, and the stress of the job. But it hadn’t mattered. He felt like nothing could pull him out of the clouds, because for the first time since that disastrous tackle that tore his ACL and ruined any chance at playing pro football, Danny was truly happy. He had a job he loved, a hobby that was earning him extra income, and a gorgeous woman who loved him.  
  
His life had never been better.


	2. Chapter 1

**November 25, 2000; Newark P.D., New Jersey**

 

November was the month that things changed again. Danny lost Alberto as his partner, and took on his first detective trainee partner. He was excited that his Captain thought enough of him to give him this chance, but he was still sad to lose Alberto as a partner. The man had been the best partner that Danny could have asked for. He was smart, calm, and took no shit from anyone. The punks on the streets both respected him and feared him because he was an honest cop, not like Danny's first partner right out of training. And if it hadn't been for Alberto, Danny would have likely had a mental breakdown after their first serial killer case. Instead the man had transformed his life, pushing Danny in the direction that got him to writing.

Danny only hoped he was being as good a partner for this new gal, as Alberto had been for him.

November in Newark was like living in Antarctica. Or at least that was what Danny's new detective trainee partner, Grace, was constantly saying. She was not much of a bemoaning type normally, but Danny supposed there wasn't much snow in southern Florida. And with today's weather expected to reach a low of 22 degrees or a high of 41 degrees, she was making Danny's morning more miserable than normal. They had only been partners for about two months but until the cold hit things had been fine. Now Danny found himself contemplating homicide and if his old partner, Alberto, would help him hide he body. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was only going to get colder. Mostly because he couldn’t imagine how her complaining about the cold could get any worse.

Fortunately, her skills as a cop balanced out the complaining. She had great natural instincts for picking out what evidence was important, and her ability to read body langue was nearly as good as his own. The only thing he thought she might need to work on was her need to rush in without back-up, over sure in her and Danny’s abilities to tackle anything head on. Still, he figured that after a few months on the job she would start to realize that she didn’t need to prove herself to him or anyone else in their department. Sure she was a girl, and some of the older cops scoffed at that, but the younger cops were more likely to give her a bit of grief over the fact that she had transferred in from Florida. Her moving up here to help her sickly aunt was the only thing that kept them from going from teasing to outright hostility. She had made sure they all knew she was more than happy to go back to Florida and be a detective there, but she wasn’t willing to let her aunt die alone. So she was going to stay through hell and high-water despite their disgruntlement about the open detective slot going to an outsider.

She was winning brownie points form the other detectives for her familial loyalty, and her take-no-prisoners attitude. She was everything Danny expected a Viking Shield-Maiden to be, or maybe an Amazon, except for the fact that she was about as tall as Danny and built like a runner or a model. All legs and lean muscle. With make-up on and in a dress she was a bonafide knock-out. Not that any of them saw her dressed up that way on a regular basis. She was typically in jeans and a snug tee, her dark curling hair pulled back in a pony-tail, and only a hint of eyeliner or blush ever graced her face while she was on duty. She was certainly not the type of female cop that thought she could only make rank by using her sexuality as a weapon. That earned her respect.

Three weeks into her being Danny’s partner and the resentment of having Alberto taken away had faded, and he was finding himself glad for the new friendship that was forming between Grace and himself. So when the William’s family thanksgiving diner came up, Danny happily invited her, along with Alberto, to the diner. Grace had waffled about the invitation for five days before saying she would come. Her aunt was back in the hospital and had apparently told Grace to go out and enjoy herself with her friends for once. Danny had had to agree with that statement, since Grace usually didn’t head to the local police pub after shift with the rest of them, because she was always planning to head back to her aunt’s home to spend the evenings with her and the live-in nurse.

So Danny was glad to see Grace standing awkwardly at his parents front door, a potato salad nervously clutched to her chest. With a wide smile he welcomed her inside, calling out to each of the other people in the house, to introduce her. Her eyes had been wide as she had looked around and realized just how many people were actually in the house. When she spotted Alberto chatting with Danny’s father and a couple other guys from the local firehouse, she had shoved the potato salad at Danny and made a bee-line for the only other recognizable faces in the crowd. Danny had tried not to laugh at how obviously uncomfortable his new partner was in such a large, rambunctious crowd. he figured she had a large family of her own down in Florida so she should be used to it, but perhaps he was wrong. That would also explain why she was the only one up here watching over her sick relative.

Shaking his head Danny walked back into the kitchen to see if his mother needed any help with the cooking, never noticing how his wife hid in a corner looking even more uncomfortable amongst his family than Grace did.

= = = H50 = = =

**February 2001; Danny's House**

Danny enjoyed having a home of his own rather than an apartment. Sure it was only semi-detachted and the yard was pretty small. But it had a yard and was in a safe neighborhood not too far away from the rest of his family. That meant a lower likelihood of Rachel being burgled while he was on a night shift, and if they had children they were in a good school district and his parents could take care of the kids while Rachel and he were working. He considered it a good choice for a first home, even if Rachel would have preferred something in Manhattan. Or some place larger that wouldn't require one of them to take care of the lawn. Maybe in a few years, if they saved up, they could afford such a place without having to use the money he was getting for his books.

He couldn't quite bring himself to tell her about the books her was writing yet because she seemed to scoff at fantasy novels in general, and especially fantasy mysteries. Rachel was the kind of woman who would read a historical romance every now and again, but mostly she preferred to read thing from the Best Sellers list on the New York Times, or one of the books Opera recommended. And despite how much he loved his wife, the thought that she might secretly ridicule him for writing fantasy mysteries kind of put a damper on things. So until he could come up with a way to access that money without giving his secret away, or until she showed signs of accepting those genres, he would have to hold off on looking for a better place. Besides, it was just the two of them, so it wasn't like they needed some kind of gated mansion. They had a nice two bed, one and a half bath house that had more than enough space for them both.

"So how is the new house," asked Alberto.

"I like it. But I think Rachel is only tolerating it." Danny winced and set his beer back on the table. "I know I got lucky with her. She is way out of my league. But I am starting to wonder if she is really happy."

"Stop doubting yourself. Danny, you are aa good man. You shower her in affection, you are loyal, hardworking, and honest. She could do a lot worse than you. Besides, if I remember correctly she was the one who pursued you, not the other way around."

Danny sighed and leaned back into the cushioned back of the booth, ignoring the shouts around them from the other patrons watching the game. "She did. But sometimes I can't stop myself from wondering why."

Alberto rolled his eyes and took a long drink of his beer. "Well, you need to stop wondering. If you spend all your time wondering why and thinking negative thoughts it will eventually cause you problems. She will pick up on it, and that will cause her to start doubting as well."

"I know," Danny scowled at his beer.

"I know that you know that, Danny. You are a smart guy but sometimes you think too much." Alberto raised his arm, flagging down their waitress who did her best to squeeze through the crowd. "I'll buy this round if you stop acting like a pussy and man up."

Danny choked on his mouthful of beer, nearly spitting it up onto the table and himself.

Alberto grinned. "Another for both of us, Charlene."

Charlene smiled and nodded, "Can do. Anything to eat? The kitchen is going to close in twenty."

"Danny," asked Alberto.

"Naw, I'm good."

"Just the beer then," Alberto replied with a smile.

"You got it," Charlene replied as she twisted back through the crowd towards the bar.

"So," Alberto paused, looking Danny over. He noticed the slight bags under his eyes with told of long nights and knew that they hadn't had a cause recently that would cause them. "How's the new book coming?"

"Not bad, I guess. I'm thinking about bringing in Grace as a new character. Maybe have her be the teams newest trainee."

"She gonna be a human, witch, what?"

Danny glanced about the room, taking in all the other patrons and relaxing as he realized none of them were paying Alberto and himself any attention. "I'm thinking of making her a Valkyrie."

"A Valkyrie," he mused. "Actually that sounds pretty interesting. But can I ask why you didn't pick some kind of hispanic style mythical being?"

"I thought about it, but then I remembered how quickly you figured out how I was writing the books and used you as a character, and I realized I didn't want that to happen again. The more people who know I am really the author, the more likely Rachel will figure it out."

Alberto looked surprised for a moment, then pensive. "You don't want her to know? Keeping secrets isn't really a good plan for a healthy marriage, Danny."

"I know, but she really hates fantasy mysteries. Thinks they are books for the uneducated."

Alberto shook his head, wondering how Danny had ever thought marring Rachel would be a good idea if he knew she hated his favored genre, and that as a cop he had a dangerous job with long hours. Still, he didn't want to get Danny back into feeling morose, so he went back to his original question. "You don't want Grace to know she inspired a character?"

"No way. She'd never let me hear the end of it. She actually likes this genre but I don't know if she's ever read any of my books. So I gotta be careful about it."

"Okay. But why a Valkyrie?"

"A Valkyrie is a goddess that determines if someone should live or die during a battle, and then of those who die they shepherd the worthy souls to feast with Odin in Valhalla. They are goddess' of the dead and of battle. It seemed appropriate for a woman as fiery and gun happy as she is."

Alberto laughed, delighted at the thought of Grace reading one of Danny's books. He knew, just from the description, that she would automatically like a Valkyrie character. It really was something that fit a policewoman like her.

"You'll have to let me read some of her stuff before you give it all to your sister." Alberto smiled. "How is Katie, anyway?"

Danny smirked. "She just broke up with her boyfriend. Apparently he really wasn't okay with her having a toddler."

Alberto scowled and Danny tried not to be too obvious that he was enjoying the look. He knew his partner was sweet on his sister and the only reason he had never made a move was because he felt it wrong to date your partners family. However, Alberto wasn't his partner now and if the two of them could be happy together then it was his right as Katie's brother to ensure that happened. Alberto was certainly a better boyfriend option than the last two guys she had dated. Both had freaked out about her having a child. The first one had broken up with her the moment she mentioned Aiden, but at least the last guy had tried for a couple weeks before admitting that he wasn't comfortable dating a single mom. He knew his sister was crushed by the fact the men didn’t seem to want to date her because of her son, the last remnant she had of her husband Laurence who was killed in action somewhere the Navy wasn’t willing to tell her about. Danny and the rest of them had always worried about her being married to a Navy SEAL, but they had figured she was strong enough to endure it since their father was a fireman and Danny was a cop. She knew what to expect and had grown up knowing how to cope with the taught that your loved one might not come back one day.

Danny hated that it broke his sisters heart, but in a way he was happy too. He didn't want to see his sister fall into a committed relationship with someone who was lying to her about their feelings. It didn't matter if the guy said he loved her, if he didn't like Aiden, then he should take himself out of the picture. The two were a packaged deal after all and no matter what the guys thought she wouldn't give up her son or simply send him off to boarding school like jerk number 2 had suggested, just so she could make him comfortable.

"Maybe you should take her out for a drink sometime. You know," Danny winked, "Just to show her not all guys are assholes."

Alberto blushed and looked about for their waitress again, hoping she would appear with their drinks long enough to distract Danny.

Danny chuckled. "You know I'd have no problem with you dating her, right? You're a stand up guy."

Sighing dramatically when he saw Charlene had been waylaid by another table, Alberto turned back to Danny. "I am also like five years older than her."

"Big deal. That falls in her window of acceptable dating ages. Hell, if Colin Firth asked her out she wouldn't hesitate and he's what, thirteen years older than her. I think five years is hardly going to be a problem."

"But-"

"You aren't my partner anymore so you can shove rule 13." Danny gave him a serious look. "She likes you and if she had ever had an inkling that you were attracted to her and free, she would have jumped you years ago."

"I," Alberto blinked, not even noticing when Charlene finally arrived to deliver their drinks and turned to disappear back into the crowd. "Really?"

Danny rolled his eyes. "Trust me. Just ask her out."

"Alright. Just don't get too cocky if you turn out to be right."

Danny smirked and leaned back, resting his arms over the back of the booth. "Me? Get cocky? Never."

Alberto groaned.

= = = H50 = = =

Danny slipped out of the back of the taxi, and nearly face-planted into a pile of snow as his foot slipped on some ice. Really, it was the ice, not the four beers he had allowed himself to consume while hanging out with Alberto. Cursing to himself he shook his leg out, wincing at the pain in his knee from where it had connected briefly with the curb. Straightening up, he carefully inspected the ground for any other patches of black ice, before making his way up the sidewalk to the stairs leading onto the front porch. Pulling out a tic tac from the little case he kept in his pocket, Danny gave himself a minute to let it cover some of the alcohol on his breath, before he went inside.

The front rooms of the house were dark, and for a moment he thought Rachel had gone to bed without him. Which was perfectly fine since she had been working longer hours than normal for a new case. But as he set his keys down in the little ceramic bowl she kept on the end table near the door, he caught sight of a hint of light coming from the back of the house. Quickly setting his wet shoes on the tile floor under the end table, he went about hanging up his coat in the closet, before silently making his way through the hall towards the kitchen. Wishing he could pull his gun, but knowing better than to do so when buzzed, he inched closer to the doorframe, until he could see into the room.

Relaxing, Danny stepped into the kitchen. Rachel, who was sitting at the small table in the corner, didn't seem to be aware of him until he leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head.

"Danny," she cried out startled.

"Sorry to scare you." Danny pulled out a seat and sat down next to her. "Are you alright, babe?"

Rachel gave him a forced smile. "I'm fine. Just a little tired." She pulled her hands under the table, obviously nervous about whatever she was holding in them. Danny wanted to ask her what she was hiding, but he knew that she would see it more as a demand than him wanting to help lesson whatever burden she had. So instead he he smiled a little sadly as well.

"Then we should get you up to bed. You've been working really hard lately and you need to get some sleep."

"It's alright, Danny. I just wanted to see you today," she said with a strange expression.

Danny couldn't really place the expression, but he thought part of it might have been relief. Hopefully, relief that he made it home safe and un-injured. "I'm glad you miss me, babe, but don't make yourself sick waiting up on me. Both of us have been living with odd schedules these last few weeks, but I can make sure to see about switching back to an earlier schedule so you don't have to wait up like this."

This time real affection glowed in her eyes as she leaned to rest her head against his shoulder. "I'd like that, Danny. I know the overtime has been a great help getting the house payments made, but-”

“It’s hard not to see each other for more than fifteen minutes as you rush out the door and I am stumbling in it.”

“Yes,” she agreed.

"Then I will do better." Danny kissed her forehead again and went to get a drink of water.

Rachel smiled softly and leaned into his shoulder when he came back to her, his glass of water in hand. Wrapping one arm over her shoulder in a gentle, reassuring hug, Danny lead her back to their room. She looked like she needed a day off and he was determined to get her to agree to stay home and get some sleep so that she could actually do her job up to her normal standards. And if the way she was swaying into him was any indication, it shouldn't be hard to get her to agree with his plan.

The stairs creaked under their combined weight, as they always did, but Rachel didn't seem to notice. Her eyes were already drooping with the exhaustion she had been holding back through sheer force of will and dozens of cups of coffee, over the past week. When they finally made it to their room he guided her into sitting on her side of the bed so that he could set his glass of water down on his end table, before returning to her side. She smiled up at him, but Danny couldn't help but notice the look of worry in her eyes. She was troubled over something and he didn't know what. He wanted to help her. He wanted to push her into telling him, but that never worked out in his favor in the end. All he could do was undress her, put her to bed, and hope that once she was rested she would be willing to tell him what was bothering her.

Rachel collapsed back against the mattress as he lifted her legs, one at a time, to remove her heels, then her stockings. She sighed in pleasure as he carefully removed each layer of her clothes. Her skirt slipped off easily enough when he nudged her to lift her hips, and her matching jacket and blouse came off just as smoothly. Her bra was another matter. The damn thing never came off easy for him, and just once he wanted it to pop open in his hands. Instead he was forced to sit her up and then lay her against his shoulder as he worked at the clasp. But when he finally got it open, what felt like an hour later, she gave a full body shudder and another breathy sigh.

He carefully lifted her from her resting place against his shoulder, settling her back into her pillows, before turning to put what clothes he could in the hamper, and setting the dry cleaning aside on her dresser top. Coming back to the bed he did his best not to disturb her as he lifted the blankets out from under her, pausing only momentarily to enjoy the sight of his wife's breast rising and falling as she breathed. But the nurturing part of him won out over the lusty part, and Danny tucked her in before going about his own routine of getting undressed and showered.

The sheets were cool against his over-heated skin as he slid into the bed beside her, marveling again at his luck in winning her heart, as she rolled over and cuddled against him. When he got up again in a few hours he would ask her what was bothering her.


	3. Chapter 2

_**I wasn't all that happy a guy at the moment. I've been stuck doing paperwork for what feels like weeks because of a bet I lost with Roberto. And really, by this time, I should know better than to ever make a bet with Roberto on anything. The man has the most uncanny luck I've ever seen. I should probably get him to buy a lotto ticket one day...**_  
  
_**Anyway, as if losing to Roberto and being stuck on paperwork duty wasn't bad enough on it's own, the newest detective to join the NJPCD, a Valkyrie named Eira Osfriddotter, had teamed up with Roberto on a new case. I didn't like giving up my partner to someone else, even if that someone else was a damned good cop, and a near immortal being. Paperwork is like a gift from the Devil, it helps you briefly but mostly it just breeds like tribbles and  turns up past due at the worst possible time. Not that I would ever say it, but I am fairly certain the magic in the building is strong enough that it has given sentience to our paperwork and several of the filing cabinets.**_  
  
_**Despite, the propensity of the paperwork to multiply overnight, and disappear and reappear out of nowhere, it wasn't the worst assignment on it's own merit. It was just that getting stuck with it and knowing my partner is out with a rookie, made it even worse. Especially when the case was so much more exciting than any of the paperwork.**_  
  
_**Damn Valkyrie. Damn Roberto!**_  
  
_**As much as I want to simply shred all the paperwork, I know it won't help. And I am speaking from personal experience. Roberto has a spell that covers the whole office preventing anyone from shredding any documents without first filling out another document to get approval to shred the first document. And considering the document for the approval is like ten pages long, it just isn't worth the aggravation. So to calm myself down, and to get a respite from all the cursed paperwork, I have taken to looking up info, both online, and from the departments library, on Valkyries.**_  
  
_**Valkyrie's, I have been learning, were feisty in the extreme and probably the best back-up you could ever hope for. Of course our Valkyrie also had the bad habit of leaving weapons all over the office, cursing in ancient Norse, and picking fights with others just for the fun of it. So it certainly hasn't been smooth sailing.**_  
  
_**Our first trip out to question a suspected troll had ended up with her picking a fight with it, which meant that I, being the mortal of the pair, ended up being the one thrown through a window and in the hospital for a week. About the only upside to that was that my wife, Elizabeth, was so upset by my injuries that she finally spilled the beans on the secret she had been keeping all month.**_  
  
_**I am going to be a dad!**_  
  
  
= = = H50 = = =  
  
  
**September 11, 2001; Newark Police Department**  
  
Rachel was pissed at him again. Danny really wanted to believe it was just the pregnancy hormones, but some part of him was worried that it was more than that. Danny had been trying to ignore it, because if he focused on his worries all the time, he would just end up making them become real, and Danny wasn't ready to lose his wife to his insecurities. Today though he understood why she was angry. They were supposed to be meeting her mother at the airport today, and Danny wasn't going to make it. He had already taken part of the morning off in order to go with Rachel to the doctor. That had been amazing, hearing that little heart beat again and seeing the newest image of their little girl. Danny loved it, was grateful that he had gotten to experience that with her, but by skipping out on the first part of his shift meant he was going to have to work longer hours now that they had a break in their case. So Rachel had been calling him at  least  once an hour to scream and cry at him in the hopes he would simply give in to her demands and go with her to get her mother and spend the day with them.  
  
Danny actually liked his mother-in-law. Despite the rocky start between them, since Danny hadn't been willing to move back to London after the wedding, Danny and her now got along like a house on fire. Sometimes when he would be talking with her, he would wonder how such a down-to-earth woman like Annette Morrison could have such a high maintenance daughter like Rachel. He had already tried to explain to Rachel that he would get home as soon as he could and that he would take them both out to diner at whatever restaurant they decided they wanted to eat at. And if they really wanted he would take them to one of the nicer dance halls, not one of those crazy nightclubs, but an actual place for people to dance and listen to live music. That hadn't seemed to help his case much. When Rachel was mad she was like a dog with a bone, she just would not let it go. His best option was to wait it out and hope his mother-in-law could calm her down before he got home.  
  
Danny groaned out loud as his cell phone began to ring again. The ringtone specific to Rachel like an icepick to the brain after the sheer number of times it had gone off already. Ignoring the chuckling of of two uniformed officers passing him in the hall, Danny flipped the phone open.  
  
“Hey Babe, now’s not a good time. I’ve got a suspect to interview.”  
  
Danny winced as Rachel began to cry, ranting over and over. He knew the hormones were getting to her, as was his job. For whatever reason, she had been especially high strung today.  
  
“Scared? Am I scared,” Danny waved his free arm about, nearly making someone with the file he was carrying as he walked sown the hall. “Of course I’m scared! I am also anxious. I am also nervous. I am discombobulated. Yes, I used that word,” Danny grinned as Rachel began to calm down. “But most of all I am happy. Kay? Let me break it down…I am 60% happy, I am 30% completely terrified, and I am 10% discombobulated.”  
  
One of the uniformed cops Danny passed turn and looked at him, arching an eyebrow at Danny, who rolled his eyes in response and continued talking. “Yes, it is a real word.”  
  
He reached the end of the hall and paused outside the heavy wooden door leading into one of the interrogation rooms. He flipped open his file and quickly scanned it, reminding himself of all the pertinent information.  
  
“This is why you suck at Scrabble. Ok, listen…I love you very, very much, Rachel and I will see you when I get home. Okay?”  
  
He waited briefly until he heard her give a quick breathy, “Fine,” in response.  
  
“Bye,” he said as her line cut off. At least if she was angry she wasn’t crying. He hated it when she cried.  
  
With that he put his phone in his pocket and opened the door, striding into the interrogation room.  
  
  
= = = H50 = = =  
  
  
The silver car they had been allowed by the NPD, cut through traffic over the bridge, through a series of winding back allies and side streets, until Grace pulled it to a stop in front of a derelict warehouse. Without hesitation she opened her door and got out, her long, dark hair fluttering in the breeze, as she drew her gun. Danny, flipped his cell to silent, opened his door and got out. They glanced at each other, Danny’s face clearly showing his worry about there being out here without backup. Grace tossed him her normal “we don’t need back up” look, and jerked her head back towards the chained up doorway in front of the car.  
  
He held up his hand as they strode forward. Grace signaled her understanding and stopped, bringing her gun up in front of her as Danny continued forward.  Danny kept one hand on his weapon as he approached the door, gaze darting over it, taking in the warn down logo of Kings Cuts, the rusted door handles, the graffiti tags, and the rusted chain sealed with a shinny new lock.  
  
He didn’t like this. His gut was rolling and he wanted to get back to the car to call for back up. But h knew Grace, knew she wouldn’t wait for him to do so. She had a chip on her shoulder the size of Manhattan when it came to how she was treated. It took a lot of balls to be a female Police Officer, let alone to make it to the rank of Sargent in the Newark PD Robbery Homicide Division. It would be years before she felt certain enough of her skills and position to let her partner call for back up.  
  
A couple quick hip checks to the door and the rusted chain gave way. For a brief moment he caught a look of worry flicker in her warm doe eyes.  
  
It was not a quiet entrance.  
  
They shared another look and Danny slowly slipped in through the door, both hands on his gun, raised up in front up him. Grace followed him in, silent as a ghost, her own gun drawn and raised as she kept two steps behind Danny’s right shoulder.  
  
The doorway opened into a long, narrow, cinderblock hallway. The halogen lights above them looked to have long since blown out, the glass from a few of the broken ones, long since pushed up against the wall so that the perps wouldn’t step on it. A bit lazy, but Danny was thankful for it. They didn’t have to worry about the sound of breaking glass giving them away in further than getting through the door had, and he wouldn’t need to worry about a tetanus shot either. For which he was especially grateful.  
  
As they came to the end of the hall, he silently signal for her to wit as he inched around the corner, checking out the room beyond. With a quick jerk of his head he indicated for her to move up past him to look at the doorways to his left as he checked out the ones on the right. Once they were all cleared, they crossed the room and headed down another hallway. Like the first, the only light was what made it through the dingy windows high up in the walls. At the end of the hall the doorway was covered in thick hanging sheets of plastic like you found in the doorways of meat freezers at the packaging plants.  
  
He internally winched at then sight of them. They were thick, covered in grime, and what looked to be dried blood. Definitely not sanitary. But also bad because all the grim on them made it near impossible to see what was on the other side. With a deep breath, Danny pushed them to the side, slipping through the doorway. The room on the other side looked like something out of a horror movie. A dirt encrusted cinderblock room covered in fading blue and gray paint. The cement floors covered in years for dirt and standing water. massive metal meat hooks hung from the ceiling all over, rotting wooden pallets were pushed up against almost every wall, and a few more were oiled up against some of the old rusting metal tables that dotted the room. He took careful note of a few pieces of clothes and full water bottles that were set seemingly at random near the far side of the room, as if the owner hand put them down and wandered off, expecting to come back for them at any moment.  
  
At the far side of the room, another doorway was shrouded by the same dirty plastic. With another silent look the two quickly crossed the room and approached the new doorway.  
  
Danny froze, the plastic pushed to one side as he caught sight of the table directly opposite the doorway. It was covered in bricks of white powder. Very recognizable white powder. A tall, african-american made was at the table, stuffing the drugs into a dark duffle bag. The bag look half full already and the table was still covered in a pile three bricks tall.  
  
Cautiously, Danny stepped inside the room, Grace right behind him.  
  
“Hey. Hey. Hey, back up.” Danny called out in a stern voice, low enough he hoped anyone else in a nearby room wouldn’t hear. “Back up.”  
  
The drug dealer turned around as they approached, seemingly unimpressed by the arrival of two cops. Still, he turned slowly as directed, hands up at shoulder height.  
  
“Hands,” Grace called.  
  
“Slowly. Slowly,” repeated Danny. “On the floor now.”  
  
“Do it now,” Grace tacked on, her voice wavering only slightly.  
  
The drug dealer grinned but complied.  
  
“Get down,” Grace demanded, her confidence growing at the easy submission of the drug dealer.  
  
The hair on the back on Danny’s neck was standing on end. It was too easy. Way too fucking easy.  
  
“Umm,” came a deep, pleased voice from behind him, followed by the loud cocking of a shotgun at the back of his head. Danny’s eyes closed and he silently cursed for not forcing Grace to wait for him to call in back up.  
  
“I don’t think so,” the voice said with an amused lilt. “Man, I love that sound.”  
  
The drug dealer in front go them stood up, walking boldly up to them and taking away their guns as the men behind them used their guns to force Danny and Grace up against one of the grimy walls.  
  
“You all know the drill,” came the pleased sound of the second gunman. He kicked Danny and Grace’s legs apart then briskly patted Danny down. A part of Danny wanted to growl and spin around, blaming his knee into the bastards face as he slid his hands over Danny’s ass, down his inseam, to his ankles, before moving back up and forcing Danny to turn and face him. Danny looked down, taking in the man appearance, memorizing everything he could just in case.  
  
“You enjoying that,” he sassed as the man dropped to his knees and felt up his front just like he had Danny’s back. “Huh?”  
  
The man jumped to his feet, glaring at Danny. “I’ll show you what I enjoy,” he snarled and stepped over to Grace.  
  
“Oh, sweet heart.” He slid his hands over her hips, cupping the round curve of her bottom through the almost too tight, stylish jeans she insisted on wearing. “Oh, yeah. There you go,” he purred as he swiftly ran his hands down her legs.  
  
Danny felt his anger rising, but was grateful to see the man wasn’t lingering on Grace in the same manner he had on Danny, despite the fact he was making lewder comments as he touched her. With a smirk and a glance at Danny, the man put his hands back on Grace’s hips and forced her to face him. The other gunman grinned stepping closer, his gun swinging between Grace and Danny as he tried to watch them both.  
  
Setting his hand on her collar bone, the first man slipped his hand into Grace’s pocket, pulling out her badge. “Well lookie here. Officer Tillwell,” he said with quick flick of his tongue over his lips. “It’s like that old joke,” he told the other gunman. “Two pigs walk into a slaughter house.”  
  
The anger was burning out of Danny fast as the realization that they were screwed began to sink in. Their had lost their weapons, were out numbered and now outgunned, and no one knew where they were. No back up was coming.  
  
“Long way from Jersey, officers,” snarked one of the gunmen. Danny looked up briefly to see it was the skinnier, bald headed one speaking now.  
  
“Pack it up, baby,” commanded the first, pointing towards the pile of drugs.  
  
The man Grace and Danny had seen bagging up the drugs, nodded and went back to his task, content to turn his back on what was happening.  
  
“We’ve got a policy around here,” he said, leaning in and tugging at the long curling strands of Grace’s hair. “You walk in here with a badge-“  
  
“You leave her in a bag,” finished the bald gunman.  
  
“So I’m gonna ask you,” he said leaning in towards Grace, who looked at Danny from the corner of her eyes so as not to meet the gunman’s own gaze. “Only one time. How’d you find us?”  
  
For the first time his voice seemed slightly rattled. He obviously didn’t think anyone would have found him way out here in the warehouse district of New York. Let alone a couple of cops from New Jersey. Neither Grace or Danny answered, both looking towards the ground.  
  
“The man asked you a question. Didn’t he,” snarled baldie, pressing the barrel of his shotgun into Danny’s chest.  
  
When Danny didn’t answer baldie looked to the other man, who was obviously in charge of the operation. With a quick nod from his boss, baldie swiftly pulled the shotgun back and whipped Danny’s across the jaw with the butt of it, splitting Danny’s lip, and jerking Danny around with the force of the impact.  
  
Baldie grabbed Danny by the hair, yanking his head back and jabbing the gun into his spin. “Let’s go little piggy.”  
  
The bossman smirked and grabbed Grace by her leather jacket, forcing her to wait while the other man led Danny past them, into the other room. Once they were past he smirked at her and pushed, causing her to stumble forward. In a matter of minutes they had scrounged up two chairs to tie them too. With his wrists aching from the pressure of therapies binding him, Danny felt even more fatalistic. He knew enough after so many years on the force, to know that what was coming wasn’t going to be pretty. Drug lords, especially ones with mob connections, weren’t going to “play nice” with a couple cops.  
  
Sure enough, it didn’t take long for the beatings to begin.  
  
With his lips stinging, and blood running down his face from a fresh cut on his forehead, Danny prayed that he would survive this. That by some chance he would live through this long enough to see his baby being born.  
  
“Now,” the bossman calmly began, leaning into Danny’s space. “I’m gonna ask you again, copper. How’d you find out about this place?”  
  
Danny let his head roll back up, glancing down at his wrist and the rope binding him, and then up at the drug dealer. He swallowed a mouthful of blood and let his head wobble towards Grace, catching sight of her briefly before looking away. She hadn’t been out of the street beat for long, not in the grand scheme of things, and he was supposed to protect her. To guide her into becoming the amazing cop he knew she could be. And here they were tied up, bloody, and about to be tortured.  
  
“Well, why are you here,” he demanded again.  
  
That part of Danny that couldn’t help but argue, that couldn’t help but throw back a sassy comment reared it’s head despite the knowledge it would only cause him to be hurt worse. “I’m here because I wanted to get a box of t-bones,” his voice wavered on the last few words as he caught sight of Grace again, her eyes wide.  
  
The drug dealer sighed, very put upon, and looked over at his partner, who continued to hold the gun pointed at Grace, before swiftly twisting his body, throwing all his weight into the punch he rammed into Danny’s abdomen.  
  
Danny cried out, his whole body jolting upwards with the force of the punch, the ropes at his wrist straining, digging into his flesh even more.  
  
Another punch quickly followed.  
  
“Does that hurt,” asked the drug dealer, one hand squeezing Danny’s shoulder, before he lunged forward, punching Danny again.  
  
Danny leaned forward, head between his knees as the drug dealer stepped back. He groaned, mumbling, so that the drug dealer came closer. “All right.”  
  
Danny sat up, coaching, more blood dribbling down his chin. “Ah. Forget the t-bones.” His voice was heavy with pain, his body throbbing. “Some baby back ribs.”  
  
The drug dealer chuckled and stood up looking to his partner as Danny spit out another mouthful of blood. “I like him. He’s a tough guy. Got a mouth on him, can take a hit.”  
  
“yeah, yeah,” groaned Danny. “I can take a beating all day long, buddy. “Danny could. He didn’t want to, but if all they did was punch him he could take it. He hadn’t been doing boxing at the gym almost everyday since he was seventeen for nothing after all. All he needed was time. Time for one of them to make a mistake. Time for Rachel to call his department. Time for someone to pull up the tracker on the car and send back up. Time. He just needed time. “Huh?”  
  
“Alright tough guy,” the drug dealer replied less amused. “Let’s see how tough your partner is.” He pulled out his gun, swapping places with his partner who moved to stand in front of Danny as the other approached Grace. “Okay honey, you tell me what I’m asking and I don’t have to mess up your pretty little face.” He pushed aside her hair with the barrel of the oversized gun, the silver shine of the metal glinting in the sunlight coming through the window.  
  
Grace looked up at him, meeting his eyes in a way Danny just hadn’t been able to. There was no fear in those big doe eyes anymore, just a steely resolve. Lunging forward like a cobra she spat into his face, making him jerk back before pistol whipping her.  
  
“Hey, hey, hey,” cried out Danny. “Hey! You feel like a tough guy,” Danny demanded, finally meeting the other man’s gaze. “Hitting a woman. Huh?”  
  
“Nah,” he replied with a smirk. “I just like hitting cops. Little Ray, he’s all yours.”  
  
Baldie, Little Ray, grinned and slammed his fist into Danny’s jaw, jerking his head to the side. Then struck him twice more.  
  
“I like hittin’ cops,” commented Little Ray.  
  
“Now, now,” the other man cut in again, his voice once again back to smooth and charming as he tried to wheedle information out of them, playing bad cop, worse cop with Danny and Grace. “It doesn’t have to be this way. you know that, right?”  
  
“It does have to be this way,” Danny stated, resolve firm. He didn’t give in to thugs. “There’s no other way.”  
  
“Come on,” he tried again, voice sounding almost bored now. “Who told you about this place?”  
  
Danny grimaced, “Uh…uh…A little bird.”  
  
Grace looked at Danny and the back at the two drug dealer as they began to chuckle. Her eyes were wide again, fear filling them once more. her steely resolve crumbling in the face of Danny’s apparent lack of caution.  
  
“Well, what was the birdies name?”  
  
“Uh, I can’t tell you that because if I do you, you’re gonna find him and you’re gonna kill him.” Danny gasped, trying to catch his breath as his lungs struggled to pull in air pasted the deep acc in his ribs. “And there goes my star witness because when I’m done flipping him, he’d gonna send you and these two clowns who work for you, and everybody you’ve ever done business with your entire life, to prison for a long time. You understand?”  
  
“Now that’s insulting,” commented Little Ray.  
  
“Yeah. Because that clown right here is my brother. And apparently you’re sleep walking. So, Little Ray will you please wake his ass up.”  
  
“With pleasure,” purred Little Ray.  
  
Little Ray began punching Danny again and again. Laying into him with the full rotation of his body behind each punch, hitting hard enough to knock Danny to the floor, still bound to his chair.  
  
Danny lay groaning, his head throbbing on one side from where the butt of the gun had hit him, all the punches to his jaw, and now the other side was throbbing almost as bad from where it bounced off the cement floor. His wrist were aching as well from the rope burns, and now from being traded between Danny’s body weight, the arm of the chair, and the cement floor. From the way it was getting hard to breath and sharp pain in his side, Danny was also guessing he had a broken rib, or at least, a very bruised rib.  
  
“Hmm,” murmured Little Ray’s older brother. “Maybe the little birdie’s name is on this paper.”  
  
With a delighted grin, he stepped forward yanking out a folded piece of paper from Danny’s hip pocket. He stood up, slowly unfolding the paper as Danny watched. “Ah! Look’s like someone’s about to be a daddy,” he told his brother, showing him the sonogram picture Danny had taken to carrying with him.  
  
“Oh! Is it a boy or a girl,” Little Ray asked coming closer.  
  
“I don’t know, but he’ll never find out.” He lowered his hand and turned to look book down at Danny. When Danny’s blue eyes met his own brown, he glared, crumpling the picture of the sonogram and tossing it to the floor in front of Danny.  
  
Danny huffed out a breath. “You shouldn’t have done that. ‘Cause now I promise I’m gonna hurt you.”  
  
Grace looked down at Danny her eyes full of worry, confusion, and fear. Fear that Danny was going to do something to get them shot. Fear that he had a plan and she hadn’t caught up yet. Fear that her partner wasn’t going to see his baby born.  
  
“Oh, you’re gonna what? You’re gonna hurt me?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll be starting with Ray, but eventually, you and I are gonna tangle and it’s not gonna be good for you. You understand me?”  
  
The two men charged a laugh before big brother grabbed Danny by the hair, pulling him back into an upright position. “Alright. Now, we know you don;t want to die ‘cause you’re about to become a daddy. So I’m gonna give you one last chance to get ride of that smart ass and tell me what I want to know. How’d you find out about this place?”  
  
Danny refused to answer.  
  
“Ray.”  
  
Little Ray shook his head, obviously grown tired of the game, but willing to follow his brother’s orders. With only slight hesitation he laid back into Danny. Filling the room with the sound of flesh striking flesh, and the grunts and groans of Danny pains.  
  
“Hey. Hey,” moaned Danny. “Do me a favor. Will you work the back a little bit? I feel little tense.”  
  
“Why can’t we shoot him,” asked Little Ray.  
  
His brother shook his head, a pleased smile stretching his lips. “Because he’s a knight.”  
  
“A what,” Little Ray asked confused.  
  
“This is a knight right here.” He shook his head again, chuckling to himself.  
  
“This ain’t no damn knight,” comment Little Ray.  
  
“No. No. You gotta take away all that armor, all that mask,” he instructed as he moved around Danny, coming to a stop behind him. “And he’ll look like ol’ slick here.” He patted Danny’s shoulders and look at his brother, age going cold. “But I think it’s all an act to impress the ladies. You know, a chivalry thing.” He let his hand slid from one side of Danny’s shoulder to the other as he leaned down, his other hand resting on the nap of Grace’s neck, and turned to face her. “Play the tough guy.”  
  
He looked back at Danny before swiftly standing and walking around the other side of Grace, coming to stop beside his brother. “But once you remove that,” He said, pulling out his gun again, “from the equation…”  
  
Grace jerked back in her seat, trying to get as far away from them as she could while still tied up.  
  
“They’re nothing,” he stated, staring Danny in the eye as he pulled the trigger.  
  
Grace cried out, her body jerking from the force of the bullet impacting her just under the sternum.  
  
“Grace,” Danny cried out. “Grace! Grace!”  
  
Grace gasped, body thrashing. She gasped and looked down at her yellow shirt, already staining red with her blood. “Danny…”  
  
“Ah, see you…”  
  
“Grace! Grace!” Danny interrupted, struggling in his chair, hopping against hop his bonds would have loosened. “Oh, you son of a bitch. I’m gonna kill you.”  
  
Grace gasped one last time, her head lulling backwards, mouth gaping open.  
  
“Grace,” Danny called out again despite knowing she was likely already dead. “I’m gonna kill you,” he told the brothers.  
  
The older brother chuckled and moved again, passing in front of Danny before setting his gun down on a rusted oil barrel just behind Danny, where he picked of a gleaming meat cleaver. Because, of course, there was a meat cleaver.  
  
“Come on now,” He told Danny. “We both know that isn’t gonna happen. Now, I was nice to your partner.” He leaned into Danny’s face again, gesturing with the cleaver. “By the time I’m done with you, you’re gonna be beggin’ me to put you down.”  
  
Danny looked away, down at the cleaver.  
  
“So, I want you to think about your answer.”  
  
Little Ray glared at Danny, raising the shotgun up, pointing it once again in Danny’s face.  
  
“This one’s for keeps, Jersey.” He glanced over at Grace’s body. “Who else knows we’re here.”  
  
Danny shook his head, trying not to look at the brothers or at Grace’s body. He couldn’t answer, but he needed to say something. Something that wouldn’t get him killed but would also not go against everything he believed in. “Beside me and my partner…The entire Newark Police Department. Ok, you idiots don’t know this but you are surrounded right now. Okay?”  
  
“Okay. Well now you bleed,” snarled the drug dealer.  
  
Danny winched and looked away as he lifted the cleaver up over his hand. Danny closed his eyes and again prayed for a miracle. He wasn’t ready to die yet. He couldn’t die yet. He had a wife to get back too. He had a baby to welcome into the world. He couldn’t die here!  
  
The drug dealer froze, their gazes jolting over to the windows as the sounds of sirens began to fill the air. Dozens and dozens of sirens. Close by and getting closer.  
  
“Go,” the older brother ordered. “Go check it out!”  
  
Little Ray looked between his brother and Danny, but did as he was told, running off downtime hall and towards the nearest door leading outside.  
  
With the younger brother out of sight and the older still distracted by the sirens, Danny took his chance. He pushed to his feet and body checked his captured into the cinderblock wall as hard as he could, hoping against hope that luck would be with him and the force of it would knock the guy out, or at least disarm him. There was a sickeningly wet sound as his body hit the wall, but Danny didn’t spare it a thought. the force of impact broke the arm lose and he spun, blaming the chair into the drug dealer’s chest hard enough to break the chair apart.  
  
Danny wobbled away, pulling his hands free from the rope still trapping them against the broke arms of the chair, and grabbing the gun.  
  
“Billy,” called out Little Ray from the other room.  
  
Danny swung about, facing the doorway, gun raised. He fired off three quick rounds, dropping Little Ray even as he caught sight of the now named, Billy, sliding to the ground, the cleaver buried in his chest.  
  
The third man, Baby, came running at the sound of the gunshots, his own gun drawn at his side as he ran straight in. Danny pulled the trigger twice more, dropping the third man as the sirens closed in. Panting, he barely paused to watch the other man fall lifeless to the floor by Little Ray, before turning back into the room. He had to get to Grace.  
  
Almost as an after thought he shot another bullet into Billy’s brain as he passed. He set the gun down on the same barrel he had grabbed it off of and rushed over to Grace, grabbing her shoulders.  
  
“Grace. Grace, come on, Grace,” he begged. “Grace. Grace. Grace,” he begged over and over.  
  
Her eyes remained closed no matter how many times he called to her.  
  
Choking back tears he slowly let go of her head, and turned to run out of the building. the sirens were still coming, should be right on top of them now. As he pushed his way out the doors, one hand clutching at his side, shirt covered in blood, Danny saw them. Car after car after car speeding right passed him.  
  
“Hey! Hey,” he screamed, waving his one good arm to try and get their attention. “Officer down! Hey!”  
  
The cars didn’t slow down. They didn’t stop. The drivers didn’t even look his way as they sped past him. Fire engines and patrol cars, more than he had ever seen at one time.  
  
“Hey! I need help!”  
  
He stumbled into the street as the last one sped past, howling out of the shadow of the warehouses, towards the heart of the city and where the twin towers should have been visible over the roof tops around him. His cries went silent as he caught sight of the thick dark smoke filling the bright blue sky where the towers should have been.  
  
  
= = = H50 = = =  
  
  
**Two Weeks Later**

  
Danny hated having to wear his dress uniform. It seemed like the only time he got to put it on was on days like today, where he had to watch a fellow officer be lowered into the ground years before they should. It never got any easier, no matter how many times he had to do it. This time was especially hard though because it seemed to be never ending weeks of funerals and wakes for fellow police officers, as well as their brothers over in the fire department. So many died that day in and around the towers. It boggled the mind. He couldn't quite grasp the enormity of it at first, still couldn't really, and he felt guilty because of it. He had let his grief for Grace dying in front of him prevent him from mourning all the others who died that day.

Grace would have yelled at him for that. God, she would have completely ripped into him for that.

Danny felt the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, spill over, trailing down his face in what felt like rivers. He didn't know if he cared. She was a good cop. She was his first Detective trainee. She fought hard, she believed in the law, and she was surprisingly good with kids and victims. She was everything a good policewoman should be in Danny's mind. 

And she didn't deserve this.

Her family didn't deserve this.

No one deserved this.

He closed his eyes and let his shoulders brush Rachel's as she squeezed his hand in her own. Rachel had liked Grace too, and he knew her death had caught Rachel off guard and reminded her yet again of just how dangerous Danny's job was. He hated seeing the fear that seemed to be a permanent fixture in her eyes now. For the last two weeks he had started to doubt himself and his right to be a cop when he had a family and a child on the way. How could he be so selfish as to ignore Rachel’s fears and the possibility he would die before meeting his baby. That he might be taken from his child before they were old enough to remember him. If he had a son how could he leave their life before teaching them how to ride a bike, to shave, or how to treat a young lady? How could he leave his potential daughter without having a tea party with her, before learning how to braid her hair, or how to mistrust teenage boys? How could he leave her without ever walking her down the isle at her wedding?

Danny closed his eyes, fighting back his tears, and squeezed Rachel’s hand. It was their turn now to place flower on Grace’s coffin before it was lowered into the earth. 

His hand trembled very slightly as he set the dark red rose on the polished wooden surface amidst all the other flowers. White roses, yellow roses, pink carnations, and even chrysanthemums already covered the lid. His was the lone red flower amidst all the other. It stood out like a sore thumb, a painful reminder that he failed her. Rachel squeezed his hand and stepped forward, placing her own yellow rose next to his dark red one.

“It’s all right, Danny,” she whispered, guiding him back to their place amid the crowd. 

The rest of the funeral passed in a blur for Danny. He was vaguely aware of the asked being lowered into the ground and the priest giving one last eulogy before each of Grace’s family members who had been able to get to Newark, released a single balloon. He thought he might have watched them float away, vanishing into the clear blue sky, but he really wasn’t sure. He didn’t snap out of the fog until Alberto was pushing him out into the back yard of Grace’s Aunt’s home, and shoving a glass of scotch into his hands.

“You can’t stay in this funk, Daniel. Rachel needs you to be here.” 

Danny wheezed, chocking on the burn of the alcohol. “I’m here.”

“Good. I know it was hard, losing your partner, losing Grace, that way. But it’s not your fault. So I need you to man up and present a calm front. Your wife, and your partner’s aunt, need you to be a strong support for them right now. Seeing you break down isn’t going to help.”

“Okay,” Danny replied, his voice almost lost to the wind whipping through the trees in the yard.

“Drink the scotch and when you are feeling less like the world has dropped out from under your feet, you come back inside and you share in the grieving process with everyone else.”

“Got it, boss.”

Alberto rolled his eyes at the nickname. He hadn’t heard Danny call him boss in almost two years. He squeezed Danny’s shoulders in silent support before turning and walking back inside the house. He was still worried about Danny. The younger detective was a surprisingly sensitive man, and once he gave his loyalty to a partner it was for life. At least as long as they didn’t go Dirty. Danny had a strong moral code and he didn’t take lightly to people in positions of power, or protection, using their status and position as a way to hurt other people.

Danny watched Alberto head back into the house and the sea of blue and black. As the door closed behind him, blocking out the warm light, Danny turned to look back up at the sky. The stars could barely be seen over the bright lights of the neighborhood and the nearby city streets. It held no answers to him, but he knew that. Had already known it.

He took another swallow of the scotch, winching a bit as it burned it’s way down to his stomach. 

Roberto was right. He couldn’t mope about like he was. Grace wouldn’t want him to mope, grieve, and blame himself over her death. Hell, she would have punched him if she could see how he had been behaving over the last couple weeks.

He swallowed the last of the scotch, coughing weakly a couple times. Once he had caught his breath again he turned to follow Alberto back into the house. The door creaked loudly as he pulled it open, but no one noticed as he came back into the kitchen. The kitchen was mostly empty of people for the moment. Two of Grace’s friends were at the oven and the counter fixing up more food for all the people in the other room. The two woman looked up at him as he closed the door behind him. The older of the two, an EMT name Carlotta, gave him a knowing look and a nod. The other woman, a teacher who lived just two houses down, smiled at him sadly and went back to making up cups of what looked to be cocoa and coffee. He gave them both a sad, but determined smile, and walked back down the short hall that separated the kitchen and the living room. 

The living room was packed full of people. Every available surface was either covered in food, empty plates and glasses, or people. Danny winced at the sight and hoped that people were smart enough not to try and sit on any of the older pieces of furniture which likely wouldn’t take the weight of some of the adults in the room. He carefully scanned the crowd, noting that his sister Katie was standing beside Alberto, his hand placed low on her back, while they spoke with Grace’s Aunt and cousin. As he watched he caught sight of Rachel, already weaving her way through the crowd towards them with a plate of food in one hand and a steaming cup in the other. As she handed the plate and cup to Grace’s aunt she glanced up, her warm brown eyes meeting his own. He gave her a smile and watched the hesitant joy fill her eyes at the sight if him. 

He moved swiftly, and gracefully, through the crowd. “Hey, babe.”

“Daniel,” she said in a falsely stern voice.

He leaned in to kiss her cheek before turning to give Alberto a brief nod, noting the wide smile that stretched his former partners face. He turned back to the older woman sitting on the cough. Grace’s aunt was as polished looking as ever and the sight of her still made him think of fresh baked pies, and warm snuggly sweaters. But the sad far-off look on her face filled his chest with an aching sense of shared grief. 

He kneeled down, winching slightly at the pressure on his bad knee, and took her hand. “Mrs. Castio-“

She looked up at him, squeezing his hand slightly. “How many times have I told you to call me Maria now, Daniel.”

Danny smiled and raised her hand up, kissing her knuckles. “I stopped keeping track after about thirty times.”

She laughed softly. “I’m glad to see some life back in those pretty blue eyes of yours.”

“Me too.” He relaxed his hold on her hand but didn’t let go. “I hope to see that sparkle back in your eyes too.”

“In time, my boy.” She released his hand and took back the warm mug of cinnamon cocoa, sighing in pleasure as she took a long drink. “Have they cleared you for duty again, Daniel?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be going back to work this coming Monday.”

“Good. Good.” She smiled sadly again. “You be careful, yes. This old woman doesn’t want to have to pull out this dreadful dress again anytime soon.”

“I will,” he replied confidently. “I have a lot left to live for.”

Rachel smiled at him and reached down to squeeze his shoulder. Something passed in her eyes, and emotion or a thought that came and went too fast for Danny to make out. But enough of him was aware again to know that it wasn’t anything bad.

“That’s right. Little girls need their fathers,” she said in a soft voice.

Danny’s eyes popped open wide, his jaw dropping for a brief second before he was leaping to his feet, hands grabbing at Rachel’s shoulders. “Girl? It’s a girl?”

Rachel smiled. “The doctor confirmed it yesterday.”

“A girl,” he said in wonder.

Rachel smiled and squeezed one of his hands on her shoulder. “I was thinking we should call her Grace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AN:** Flower Language - 1) Dark Red Roses denote grief and sorrow, 2) Yellow Roses are given by friends of the deceased to symbolize their strong ties, 3) White Roses evoke purity, reverence, humility and innocence, and are one of the most common funeral flowers in the USA, 4) Pink Carnations convey gratitude and remembrance of the deceased, and 5) Chrysanthemums express grieving and sadness, but also convey sincerity and loyalty.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is currently unbeta'd. I will have it beta'd after the New Year.

**The new version of chapter 4 is in progress now.** I apologize for the long wait, but it will be worth it. There is a lot more content to be expected so the story should not feel as rushed or fast paced as it did previously. There will also be more about Danny's life in New Jersey so he won't pop up in Hawaii until a later chapter than previously. I will try to get this done as swiftly as I can but please bear with me as I have about a dozen fics I am writing, so I cannot get to all of them in a timely manner. I appreciate your patience and support in this matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wanting regular updates you can either get them from my LJ page (http://dreamwind83.livejournal.com/) or my friending me on Facebook under the name Kat Dreamwind.


End file.
